Judas betrayed Jesus.
Peter’s denial also marks a betrayal.
We don’t know Judas’ true motivation, although there are many theories. It is likely self-preservation was at the top.
That definitely seems to be the reason for Peter’s denial of Jesus, to whom he has sworn his loyalty.
He betrays the trust of his mentor and his friend. He betrays the one he identified as the Christ.
This station brought an opportunity for confession. But making a comic about that has been tricky. What is proper to confess publicly? How does that affect loved ones? I am making a comic about the reality of the spiritual life, they are not. How much of their personal lives do I have a right to document here? (This is why I have decided not to draw images of my father’s current suffering, and why there are so few comics with my wife and kids in them.)
But God has brought a great conviction to my heart in the last couple of months, that as I have faced things in the last five years that have brought sadness and anger, it is my wife and children who have shared the cost of those emotions.
My children in particular, four and two years old, who are the most likely to unwittingly provoke an anger sitting just beneath the surface. And they have been yelled at. And they have been cursed under breath. And they have been made to feel afraid at times. It is all verbal, but that does not mean it is not abusive.
This is shameful.
My calling as a father is to make my children feel loved and safe. There are times for discipline. But lashing out at the normal behaviors of young children is not discipline. As a child I was afraid of my grandfather’s or my father’s presence at times. I never want my children to think of me coming home with fear.
This betrayal of my children is also a betrayal of Christ. When I am angry at my kids, I am angry at Christ. When I yell at my kids, I am yelling at Christ.
I do not take this as a metaphor. If I am unloving toward my children, or my spouse, or my friends, or a stranger on the street - I am unloving toward Christ.
I am fortunate to have a wife + friend in Ashley who has been patient in this struggle of mine, who has called me out when I have reacted irrationally and hatefully without backing down, and who listens to my confession and offers love, support, + advice.
Family is a community.
When we sell one another out, we are as Judas who sold Jesus out.
When we deny one another, we are as Peter, denying Jesus.
