Contemplative Comics day 55 "DROOLING"

Davy’s story… (happy 2nd birthday, lil’ dude)

Isn’t that a prayer we can all relate to? “God… you know, amen.”

It isn’t a lazy prayer. It is the only prayer that comes to mind when you are staring at a giant void. You know the void is going to be trouble, but you have no idea how much. Where does it really start? Where does it end? Does it end? Who will survive?

This was one of the scariest days of my life. Actually, I don’t really know when the scariest part occurred.

I can tell you that I still haven’t been the same after this whole ordeal took place. I don’t know exactly why. Maybe it was the first time I experienced real fear. The kind of fear you can’t just brush off and say, “oh, it will be alright.” Perhaps this was my first experience with trauma.

I primarily navigated this alone. It isn’t that no one reached out to me or us. We received overwhelming well-wishes, gifts, and sympathy. My various inboxes flooded with stories from friends who have had similar experiences with their children. It was beautiful.

I am not saying I was alone as an accusation against others.

But I felt alone. Somehow the experience shut doors inside of me in ways I still don’t fully understand.